It’s 1am and I’m lying in bed after a long day working and then consequently editing our podcast. I can’t sleep, I’m wired. Even 20 hours of solid working can’t break my excitement at finally making our own feminist, Bechdel test passing content. I see my phone light up across the room, my husband confiscated it before he fell asleep telling me to ‘switch off’. But I know it’s Ruby. I know I’ve sent her a cut of a film we’ve been working on and I’m eagerly awaiting her feedback. I sneak over the room and sit on the floor anticipating her response like a teenager with a first crush.
After working in the television industry for 10 years I finally feel like I’ve hit my stride. Working in often male dominated or culturally male-gaze driven productions I’d grown tired and jaded. Whilst I’ve always enjoyed my token feminist label the activist fatigue was strong. I needed a partner, someone to create content with who gets the fight. Ruby is the only person it could ever of been. Feeling like the outraged, uptight one doesn’t feel nice when your opinions over tip the balance of interesting well-read girl to annoying complainer. I knew she felt the same and maybe other women did too.
But as I sit here in the middle of the night tapping away on my phone excited by a discussion we’re having I release that all unwanted sexual comments, gropes on public transport or not being heard at work are slowly slipping away because we are fighting back. And by fighting we’re not so much protesting or directly challenging people we’re simply taking up space.
Each podcast Ruby and I make together is our own. It’s a collaborative effort that feels like us. It’s our voices and faces un-mudded by our senior bosses or companies ethos. As life-long behind the camera subservient types at first we felt uncomfortable stepping forward. As a times we may get it wrong or make something you don’t like, but we work towards the times you do and the times we can connect with other women. Because our feverish Whatsapp messages are our safe space for our women’s chat, but its DAS goal to open it up to everyone.